#1: Money in the Bank

Anyone want an extra $21,000?! For argument’s sake, let’s say you dye your hair every 4 weeks and each appointment costs $60 total. Now let’s say you are also on track to dye your hair for the next 30 years. That’s how much cash you will save, sister. $21,000. Now go buy yourself a new car to celebrate.

#2: A Month of Your Life Back

Along with this same argument, if you go to the salon every 4 weeks for a 2-hour appointment and continue to do this for the next 30 years, that equals 30 days. Stop dying your hair and you gain an entire month of your life back. And that doesn’t even include driving to and from the hair salon.

#3: A Brighter Complexion

I am part of a Facebook group called The Gray Book with more than 6,000 women in it who are all going gray. There are a ton of before-and-after photos shared in this group and I can say with confidence that when women stop dying their hair dark and allow lighter gray shades to frame their face, it brightens their complexion 100%!

#4: Say Hello to Mental Freedom

You know that feeling when you’re out and about, and everyone is looking at your roots? It’s like everyone is that guy from college who thought your boobs were your eyes, except sub roots for boobs. Well, you can say goodbye to that.

#5: Rock Cool Tones

No matter what your skin color or tone is, the minute you introduce gray hair into your look, cool tones will complement. This means you can rock hot pinks, hot purples, cool blues and all the shades you thought you never could.

#6: Healthier Hair

When you stop dying your hair, don’t be surprised if it gets stronger, shinier, and softer, too!

#7: All the Highlights

When I was younger, I craved that multi-dimensional hair that was a million shades of blonde. I experimented with highlights in my 20s but with my dark dark hair, the hairdresser had to lift it so much that my highlights just broke off #truestory. But now, with gray hair, I finally have the dimension I’ve always wanted, and my hair looks amazing in buns, a pony, and especially in braids. I’m obsessed.

#8: Hair Compliments

You won’t believe this one until it happens but trust me. One of the biggest lies I was telling myself is that people hate gray hair. NOT TRUE! In fact, people actually love gray hair. They love it so much they can’t stop themselves from complimenting you. One guy even yelled it from his convertible as he drove past me on the street. Wow.

#9: Change the World

Maybe you think this is a little sensational. I thought it was too when I first said it but the truth is, it’s not sensational at all. Because I am going gray publicly and invite conversations about going gray on my blog and social channels, I’m privy to the impact my decision has had on other women. Women write to me saying things, such as:

“I never considered going gray until I saw you going gray.”

“I didn’t know going gray was an option until I saw you going gray.”

“I went gray because of you.”

Women may not say these things to you explicitly but know that you are leaving these gifts behind in your wake.

#10: Reduce Your Toxic Load

Let’s cut to the chase. Hair dye works because it employs some combination of health-compromising ingredients, such as PPD, PTD, resorcinol or aminophenols; this is true for “organic hair dye” as well. Even when a brand says they formulate “PPD free”, they are most likely using an alternative that is like PTD. Outside of Hairprint and henna, there has been no new hair dye technology invented in over 100 years. Period. Check out the EPA’s chem sheet on PPD to see all the hazards you can avoid. And that’s just from one ingredient!

#11: Less Hair Loss

Several women in my Facebook group also say they’ve experienced less hair loss when they stop dying their hair.

#12: No More Itchy Scalp

You know that itchy-scalp feeling you have that lasts a couple days after each dye? You can say goodbye to that (as well as the dye under your fingernails from scratching so much too.).

#13: Dye Stains

Along those same lines, you can also say goodbye to that sexy black/brown halo along your hairline that lingers for days after each dye.

#14: Reveal New Truths

This one blew my mind. I always thought gray hair was ugly, but then I started growing out my hair gray, and I found myself actually loving it. Today, three years later, I can say it’s one of the best things I ever did. Gray hair has always been the same but what changed was the story I was telling myself about it. Today, I embrace a new story, a new truth.

#15: Being Real

When you start getting real about your gray hair, you may find yourself getting real in other aspects of your life, too. You may start evaluating how you’re living your life, who you’re allowing in your life, what your daily habits are, and questioning all of it.

#16: Less Body Shaming

I never thought of “hating on my gray hair” as body shaming, but the truth is that IT IS. Through this process, I went from 100% hating a part of my body to 100% loving it, and that feels so good.

#17: Less Hair Washing

Many women report that, after going gray, they don’t need to wash their hair as often. I concur.

#18: Look Younger (It’s True)

When I compare before and after photos of myself, I actually think I look younger now compared to 10 years ago. I mean, this is some straight-up Benjamin Button action right here! (Me on the left on my wedding day and me 10 years later on the right).

#19: Join the Sisterhood

Consider going gray and invitation to what I like to call “The Sisterhood.” This is the wink, smile or the “I love your hair” you will get and give to/from other women who are also going gray. These kind gestures acknowledge the strength, autonomy, and beauty we see in ourselves, as well as others.

#20: Rewrite Your Story

Prove to yourself that you can do something hard, and make every hard thing that will happen in the future a little bit easier. You can do this.

 One important thing to remember is that a leave-in conditioner is not a styler, meaning it is not meant to style and hold curls. Think of it as the prep step in makeup; when you prep your face, you moisturize it so that it can be ready for makeup to be applied. The same goes for curls! You prep the hair with a leave-in so that it can be ready to be styled. Here are the best leave-ins you can use to give you guaranteed moisture. And the best part – they are all free of silicone, parabens, and phthalates.

#1: Kinky-Curly Knot Today Leave-In Conditioner

This one is a natural, cruelty-free leave-in that will leave your hair feeling soft and hydrated instantly. There are very few ingredients used to make this product, and at the top of the list are organic ingredients, such as mango root extract, marshmallow root, slippery elm and lemongrass. Altogether, this helps to create a natural detangler because of its slip so you would have no trouble whatsoever getting through those tangles. The company even gave instructions on the product that tells you the best way to use it depending on your hair type. It also won a Naturally Curly Award in 2020 for staying true to what the product was intended to do. That alone says something!

#2: Not Your Mother’s Curl Talk 3-in-1 Conditioner

Usually, I am skeptical of products that claim to have multiple uses, but this one lives up to the name. There are three different ways to use this one product to quench your curls’ thirst: leave-in, condition washing, or rinse out. I have used conditioners from this brand before as a rinse-out, so I decided to use it as a leave-in, and the moisture is something to experience. It is a lightweight, creamy texture that is not too watery, so it clumps curls nicely and, because of the thicker consistency, it is going to last you a long time. One of the best parts of the conditioner is that it is infused with rice curl complex — which is their blend of rice and keratin amino acids to moisturize and improve curl retention. So, with this product, you get the best of both worlds with hydration and strength for your curls!

#3: Camille Rose Coconut Water Leave-In Treatment

If you are ready to experience maximum hydration and kiss dryness goodbye, then this leave-in is the one for you. It is concentrated with amazing ingredients to ensure the hair is penetrated with the nutrients it needs to soften and hydrate while giving you the easiest time ever to detangle. When you begin to style your curls, there won’t be any need to add more water to fight that wet frizz because this coconut water treatment has got you covered. The ingredients list is my favorite part. For any product, each ingredient is listed from its highest to lowest amount. And so, the first two ingredients are distilled water and coconut water, which is exactly what the packaging claims! Sometimes you come across products that will claim to contain an amazing ingredient(s) that’s beneficial for you and it will be listed toward the bottom of the list; this indicates there’s not a lot of it and can basically be a money grab for consumers. However, this conditioner does not pull any kind of tricks and was made with pure intentions to provide the best moisture possible.

#4: Mielle Organics Pomegranate and Honey Leave-In

This is one of the first products/collections I ever used from this company, and it left a very good first impression. Not too thick and not too watery, but creamy enough to eliminate frizz when applied. Dry hair can’t compete with the moisture that this conditioner can give. It’s packed with certified organic extracts that are not only going to help with moisture but will also aid with shine and sealing in that moisture. I’ve used leave-ins that claimed they would moisturize and, while they did, it was only for that one second or it would become dry on contact. That’s a problem you won’t have to worry about or experience when using this product. And the smell is too good.

#5: Alikay Naturals Lemongrass Leave-In

There is a reason why this well-known, best selling product of Alikay Naturals won the Naturally Curly Award for both 2015, 2017 and 2020. It gained the nickname “Liquid Gold” for its performance in penetrating each strand with aloe vera for moisture and silk amino acids for strength. At first, the texture is creamy but then once you emulsify it between your hands, it becomes more watery so you may need to apply more than usual, but regardless, it does what it intends to do. That’s what we’re looking for, right? And don’t think that just because you don’t have curls that you can’t use this product either. It’s suitable for ALL hair types, so don’t be shy and give it a try.

#6: Bouncecurl Moisture Balance Leave-In

A small business that creates clean, cruelty-free products formulated with ingredients from the Middle East comes a leave-in conditioner that can really take on the heat. Specifically, there are five Eastern Mediterranean oils that are concentrated in this product. Some we are already familiar with — jojoba, argan and olive oil — and some we may not have heard of before — fenugreek, neroli and virgin black cumin oil. The combination of these oils is nourishing and moisturizing to hair strands and then sealing in that moisture. The perfect combination for taming frizz so well, it says it can even be used as a styler.

#7: Breahni Leave-In Conditioner

Who doesn’t love a good conditioner that can kill two birds with one stone? When you think of leave-in conditioner, the first thing that pops into mind is moisture, but too much moisture is a bad thing. I will always appreciate protein being incorporated into a product because this allows us to use the product as desired without having to worry about the hair becoming over-moisturized. When this happens, curls become loose and lose their pattern. The proteins that were infused into the conditioner help with bounce and frizz, which means the curls will become well-balanced, maintaining their shape while staying hydrated. And you can thank the argan oil for the shine.

#8: Curls Blueberry Bliss Reparative Leave-In Conditioner

This leave-in conditioner is formulated with its featured organic ingredients, such as blueberry extract, chamomile extract and coconut oil, to help prevent breakage and repair damaged hair. It has a smell so sweet yet not too strong that continuous use of this product will not be overwhelming. It won the Naturally Curly Award in 2016 in recognizing its ability to be used by all curl types and provided such great slip that will melt into your strands and give each curl amazing moisture. We love a product that actually does what it was made for.

How to Use a Leave-In Conditioner?

Products will always come with instructions on how to use them, but it’s always good to get a visual or more broken-down explanation of the process. First, you want to section the hair. Sectioning ensures that the whole head of hair equally receives the tender love and care that it needs. Since leave-in conditioners are usually on the thicker, creamier side, this is a guideline to help determine how much to use, depending on your hair type. For fine-haired curlies, use about a dime-sized amount. For thick/coarse-haired curlies, use a generous amount as needed. Some leave-ins are more watery, so, in those cases, use as needed. Rub the product evenly in between your hands and use the raking method to work through the hair down to the ends.

Pay a little more attention to the ends since those are the driest parts of our curls. You can also apply it near your scalp but if you’re worried about flat roots, go under the hair and rake up and away from the scalp to avoid it. One extra step you can take is to brush each section to make sure the product is distributed evenly all throughout. Marvel at the shiny, moisturized, frizz-free curls and then style as desired.